When my world is shaking, heaven stands.

I had such a good day. I am so thankful for the friendship I have with Katie and that we can always pick right back up where we left off. I am so thankful for the hilariousness that was Zumba class tonight and how good I felt after that much needed workout. Thankful that I am getting closer and closer to being done with school day-by-day. Thankful for all of the exciting things I get to go home to. Thankful for THE BEST family and friends you could ever imagine. Thankful for my ever-faithful savior.

I often wonder why God granted me such a blessed and amazing life when I am so undeserving. I am a sinner and my heart is selfish. But God sees through that and continues to show me how grateful I need to be for each and every single part of my life. I have parents that would go to the ends of this earth to show their support and make sure I was cared for; and that have raised me with a determined and caring spirit. I have family that is willing to give me amazing advice whenever I need it and make me laugh no matter what. I have Godly friends who would be at my beck and call to enourage and support me at any time or no matter what I needed. I have had every opportunity to do what I would like with my life and be who I want to be, to worship freely and openly and to go after my dreams. There are so many people who will never know those freedoms. I need to start looking at the big picture and how amazing my future is going to be..how amazing my present is now, whether I'm here in Georgia when I'd rather be home or not.

My whole outlook on things has been absolutely recharged and I owe it all to Christ. It is amazing what prayers can do..seriously. I talk to so many people on a daily basis that can't give me the comfort and unconditional love that God can..so why shouldn't I be in conversation with the God of provision and peace any chance I get!? I should be on my knees in prayer the SECOND doubtful or discouraging thoughts go through my head. It's mind boggling I forget to do that first. Yep, it should always be first.

"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." - Psalm 9:9-10

What an amazing God I serve! Off to bed. Watch the link below for an incredible song of encouragement. Goodnight!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlL8LayF0uw

When it rains it pours.

So here I sit again at 12:54am when I have to be up at 5:40. Why oh why can't my little brain just STOP overanalyzing and just let me rest?! It seemed as though things were looking up for me this week as my time at Paul Mitchell is coming to an end and my move home is highly anticipated..but then all of a sudden life throws me curveballs. Shocker. Without details, I'm moving back to Katies (which I really am happy about, I love you Katie!!) but it was really sudden and without reason..and of course after I bought my tanning/gym membership back where I was living. I also realized how much I will have to get done in these last 6 weeks at school, find the time to move everything back to Katies, start packing up to move home, study for State Boards back in Indiana annnd maintain my sanity. Although this may not sound like a lot..it really is. I feel like all I ever do is drive..over and hour to and from school everyday, back and forth from Dallas to Locust Grove which is about 2 hours..and then everywhere else I need to go. If it seems like I'm complaining..I AM..because this is my blog and I can!! But really it's not so much complaining, but more venting about all the things on my heart right now.

It's not that I doubt that I can get it all done, but it's the worry that consumes me. But Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Thus to anticipate future troubles is to doubt God's plan and will for my life. And though troubles may visit daily, so does Christ. And it is by His grace that I will be able to get through this rough patch, learn from these troubles and be strengthened by this journey. That is a blessing in itself. Just by writing this I have been given rejuvenation and peace and am remembering that God knows my every move and has even my next breath in His plan. I just have to face these trials head on and get through them. Although right now it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel I need to take it ONE DAY at a time. Life is precious and I need to savor every moment, difficult or not, for it is shaping and molding me into the person I need to be for my upcoming triumph over school and difficulties I am facing now.

It never ceases to amaze me that when I am at my worst it literally feels like God is shaking me to wake me up and TRUST HIM. Trust that I am exactly where I need to be, I am capable and more motivated than I think, and that I can do this. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. This post quickly turned from discouraged to encouraged and that alone proves God's sovereignty and how much He cares for me and wants nothing but good things for His children even when we doubt. I'm off to sleep a comforted peace. (Although I still want my bed at home and my momma more than anything!)

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." - Psalm 118:8

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great ENDURANCE and PATIENCE, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light." - Colossians 1:10-12

It's 2:39am

...and I'm still awake. And guess what? I have to be up at 5:30 to start another week at Paul Mitchell. Not to say I'm not excited to get back into a routine but this whole 'time off' thing has completely wrecked my sleep schedule as I'm biased to staying up way too late and sleeping in way too long everytime I get the chance. Awful routine to continue until the night before I go back.

So I've tried saying my prayers, which usually works but I guess I was just wide awake..reading countless Texts From Last Night..perousing facebook..and simply closing my eyes and waiting as I was told "always works" by the wise Brady Young..but even his advice has failed me. So here I sit listening to William Fitzsimmons (check him out) with a powerade wondering how the heck I'm going to function here in about 3 hours. Oh, joy!

Hmm..I bought a gym membership today! For all those reading who know me, I'm almost positive you just passed out mid-read. Yes, I, Bailey Ranard, joined a gym. For those who don't know me..I hatee working out and would rather sit on the couch and watch E! than even begin to think about treadmills, weights, and sweating. But I had a rather funny moment in the airport last week when I had to run to catch my flight and found myself completely worn out and exhausted after about 3 minutes of frantic jogging. That right there did it for me. I need to get in shape! I don't want to lose weight or anything..but just tone up and be prepared for any close-call flights in my future. So I'm actually motivated for once. I bought a tanning package and even tried to buy healthy food at the grocery tonight too..here's to a new me! Good way to start the new year, I'd say. So my first workout rendezvous starts tomorrow..complete with a Zumba class, which I've actually done before and love..so wish me luck!

I'm still amazed at the amount of peace Christ has granted me over the last week. Everything seems to be falling into place. Like I said yesterday, I have so much to look forward to in regards to my humble return to Crawfordsville. I am so thrilled to have a job lined up in a salon that will be starting up at the end of my dad's Workforce Plus building and I will be working off booth rent which means I will be able to have my own station, work my own hours, use whatever product line I would like, and name my own prices. What a huge blessing. Plus the idea of being around the people I love most in this world is just so exciting. God is so good. Pleaseeee next 6 weeks hurrrry up!!

Alright, if I don't attempt sleep at least a little I clearly won't be able to stay awake tomorrow. So here I go again. Maybe I'll try counting sheep...

Goodnight. xo. Psalm 34.

Do you ever feel...

everything and nothing at all? Like you're finally doing the right thing and things are starting to look perfect only to still feel..a void. Like something actually isn't right. I've always thought Georgia is where I wanted to be; warm weather, good friends, freedom, new opportunity. But actually it's just a place I want to be vacation again. But do I succumb to the magnetism that is Crawfordsville, Indiana and move back after I GOT OUT? I left my small town with hopes of never looking back...wrong.

I have never been so conflicted in all my life about a decision. I was so set on coming here and having it be all that I've ever wanted. Not to say that it's not been amazing because I finally got on the right track with school (only 6 weeks left!!) and spent unforgettable times with friends and even made new ones but it's just not HOME. Everyone always says to move and go experience new places and people and such when "you're young and not tied down" but the more I think about it..that's wrong. I feel as though you should spend as much time with your family and familiarity while you still can. I had a friend who married young once tell me that marriage and growing up is so weird because there comes a time when you can't just run home and stay at momma and daddy's when everything is going wrong..and you can't just forget the responsibilities of your own home and husband when you want to have a silly girls night out. All these things are for now..when you're independent and free. How I am now. I need my momma when times are tough. I need my best girlfriends to be able to go get slushies at 2:00am and then talk all night. I need that. I NEED Crawfordsville, Indiana.

Still the decision lies ahead! Although I have great reason for moving home (a job lined up, friends, family, a few bribaries from my parents, haha..) I wonder if I'll get home and get bored. Miss this crazy fast-paced life in Georgia..all the fun times and new friends and relationships I've developed. But I just have to remember what my heart tells me. I was having a heart-to-heart with my precious and wise mother on the way back to the airport on friday night just about how I was so torn. There's a little more to all of it and to why it's so hard but I'll spare you my girl drama. :) And she told me one thing that is so VERY important that I had forgotten about : Our God is NOT a God of confusion. He will always direct your path. I've been so impatient waiting on an answer for my future because honestly I've been in more prayer the past 2 weeks than EVER in my life before with little to no REAL assurance of what was going to happen. But I do have to step back, reevaluate and remember that my merciful and ever-knowing God will not leave me in the dark. And for that I am so thankful. God is constantly teaching me lessons in patience because it is something I lack so much of. What an amazing provider my Savior is.

So for now I wait. :) And follow my heart. My dad always told me to do everything for the glory of God..so I'm gonna soldier on, kick butt these last few weeks of school and prepare for a new life back home (if that's even possible..) filled with late night talks with my mother, sitting on my kitchen counter and tanning at 4am with the 3 best girlfriends God could have given me, endless laughs with my baby brother (who leaves for Marine boot camp in February by the way, but I can't even think about that right now..prayers people!!), dinners with my hilarious dad, rekindling old relationships that should never have been torn apart in the first place, getting back into regularly attending church, and just the love and compassion of all that I know and call HOME. Thank you, Jesus, for peace.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with ALL your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13

The last few months in a post..

Slacker. The only word to describe my blogging ways in the past few months. I was so excited to update everything since I moved 600 miles but I guess you never realize how much you don't want to get on the computer after 40 hours of school a week and balancing friends and everything else. So if you're still following this..thank you for not giving up. I promise I will do better..not that my life is that significant to anyone. Haha. Since I've been on here I've been home 3 times and each time has been wonderful and I've learned a lot about myself. There really is no place like home. I never knew a heart could ache so much for the people you call family but it's honestly the hardest thing I've ever done. Don't get me wrong, I love my life in Georgia more than anything and I'm so thankful for this learning experience but it will never be home. Going home I recognize things I never realized: how my mom's laundry smells the same everytime, how the windows in the kitchen vibrate on cold windy nights, how cozy it is to curl up on the c0uch and watch TV with my brother, and how comforting it is to be a 5 minute drive away from your best friends in the entire world. I definitely took for granted growing up in a close-knit home in a small town, but I'm so thankful I've learned to appreciate it more than ever lately. I seriously have the most loving parents, coolest brother, and amazing and hilarious friends in the entire world.

As for life in Georgia, things are going as planned. I started off living with one of my best friends, Katie, and her little family (see previous blogs) but since she's pretty far from school and we're both so busy I've kinda moved in with my friend Chelci, who I met at school and have become such good friends with. God is SO faithful in bringing friends in at just the right time and when you least expect it. So things have been great here and I've loved being in a small town and getting to know Chelci's friends as if they're my own. I couldn't be happier with how things have turned out.

Chelci and I at school :)

..oh and this kid Austin I'm kinda fond of..

School is going great..I'm almost done! It's crazy that all the trials and tribulations I've been through since high school are finally going to pay off! Paul Mitchell The School Atlanta was one of the best decisions of my life and I just look back and thank God everyday that he has me where I am. I have a lot of decisions to make coming up as to where I'm going to go after school..work..live, etc..but Gos has been SO faithful thus far and I know that he won't leave me hanging now. Such a good feeling knowing I am constantly in God's care and sight even when I can't see that myself. I am so blessed and Christ is way too entirely fgood to me. :) I'll be back in Crawfordsville December 23-31 and I already can't wait to see my family and friends!! This was just a quick update of my new(ish) life in Georgia and I promise I will be better about writing. I'm so excited about my future and all that's going on. I have to sleep..must be up at 6:00am for school in the mornin but there's so much bouncing around my head I need to share!! All for another post though! Sorry to all of you back home with negative temperatures and snow!! Another great thing about Georgia!! Sweetest dreams. I'll leave you with a few shots from our family pictures that my talented and beautiful cousin Shea took last time I was home..enjoy:

Change.

It's a mixture of wanting and knowing: of knowing what you want isn't always what you need. It's concluding that every breath you breathe is a battle for that same thing. Sometimes it's suffocating, and sometimes it's all you really need. It's that crazy, panicky feeling you keep fighting off..it's all the "I wish.." and "I hopes" that you have. It's seeking for answers, but only finding ones you don't need. It's learning from the past...but you have to make one first. It's life, you live it. We all do.

Home Sweet Home

I've never adjusted so easily to change in my life. I'm sitting at Chris and Katie's living room watching tv and talking with some of my favorite people in the world and realizing that this is not vacation. This is MY living room too! MY new shared house! With MY new room and I don't have to leave in a week! How amazing. I finally got settled in and all (16 boxes!!) unpacked last night and it was a huge relief! Thanks to Chris and Brett, who spent hours assembling my dressers and moving the huge desk to the master bedroom..shoutout to you boys, it's been a whirlwind but it's finally all coming together! I can't wait to start Paul Mitchell next Tuesday. School will always be school to me but I am finally excited about finishing something, excited to start something even. I have a peace knowing that I'll be getting my license from them and that I have people around me who are encouraging me every step of the way.

It was so hard leaving the people I love dearest back at home. Saying goodbye to Makinze and Aimee was nothing but blubbering words and tears. I can't even talk about my little brother. I guess maybe knowing that I'll be missing out on his senior year and him leaving for the Marines is what makes it such a challenge. Also, we're finally at the stage where we're best friends, and not just siblings. But I also know that I'm an hour long plane trip or a 10 hour car ride back to the place I grew up. Oh, and thank God for facebook keeping me updated on everything. :)

I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I feel like no one has a better support system or a more amazing family than me. I'm finally TRULY seeing that when you follow Christ with all your heart and trust in His unfailing will, you'll be more happy than you ever imagined. I also feel like these posts keep getting more and more cliche..I need to get my old creative writing juices flowing! Off to finish a movie. I love you all!

My new room!!