I can't believe I have neglected my blog as long as I have, but what a crazy week and a half it has been! I officially graduated Paul Mitchell the school - Atlanta last Tuesday where I was thrown an amazing suprise going-away party by my awesome friends Lauren and Amy and it was the best day ever!! Such a relief to be done and moving on to the next chapter of my life. Speaking of moving..mom and dad came down to GA last thursday night to spend some time with our dear friends, the Kimmels, and to pack up all my stuff and move me home. Welllll, friday night on our way to eat dinner I was in the car with Austin and it started smoking. We obiously had to pull over and long story short it had to be towed to Conyers to a body shop and fixed and 2 days later we went to pick it up to start our 11 hour journey home only to have it overheat again about 5 minutes after we had payed the shop and left. So the guy came and picked it back up and about 5 hours later it still wasn't done. (We got some awesome shopping in at TJ Maxx and Target though so I wasn't complaining too much..) and ended up going back to the Kimmels for another night and picked it up yesterday morning and finally were able to make the trek back to Crawfordsville. Mom and I followed my dad and it was actually a blast. We listened to all kinds of music and got caught up on the last few weeks and pulled in the driveway about 9:30pm last night. Then Aimee and Drew and Korbin came over and we watched American Idol. Such a good feeling knowing I'm home to stay..but definitely bittersweet.
You're probably all wondering who this Austin character is that I have mentioned a few times in my previous blogs. Maybe not. But either way, you're about to find out. Remember my struggles and heartaches over the past few months? Well God has definitely revealed Himself yet again as to why things work out the way they do and I couldn't be more thankful. I met Austin Halloween weekend when I stayed with my friend Chelci from school. We were both single at the time and I was excited just to see how things went. Well we hit it off great and honestly from then on were inseperable. A few months later I sorta got cold-feet with my future being so unknown since I was about to graduate and wanting to move home (this was all before my salon plans) and so I backed out and went for things and people more comfortable which was the most foolish thing I could've ever done. But I look back now and the say is true: sometimes you don't realize what you've got til it's gone. So somehow over the past month or so, God brought Austin back in my life. Sweet, caring, and forgiving Austin and life COULD NOT be better. He's a wonderful, Christian, hard-working, sweet, sincere, down-home, COUNTRY boy and for the first time in my life, I'm 100% content. He treats me better than I could ever imagine, is so selfless and respectful, and I know that God has us together for a reason. He's still in GA right now working and saving up money but we're planning on having him move to IN as soon as he can and I couldn't be more happy. It's amazing the things God brings your way when you least expect them and when you KNOW, you just KNOW and I'm not afraid for the whole (cyber) world to know!!
Life has just been one HUGE blessing after another and I owe it all to Christ first and my wonderful family second. I could not have and do the things I'm able to without them. I just have had so many amazing oppotunities lately and I'm just so thankful. My good friend Lexi called me the other day and invited me to be apart of Beautiful You..a gathering with high school girls from all over and a speaker and the band, Alanna Story. It has to do with self-image and accepting who you are in Christ and not looking back at your past but remembering that you're beautiful no matter what. Local hairstylists are teaming up to do makeovers on the girls and I think it's going to be a great oppportunity to witness and see how God is working around Crawfordsville and see friends I haven't got to see for awhile and get time to worship. And speaking of doing hair..I'm about to go see my alomst finished salon for the first time today! I am so excited and couldn't be working with a nicer or sweeter girl, Morgan Servies-Smith. I have decided to name my shop "Studio 34" after Psalm 34 which is my favorite book of the bible. I figured it was unique and a good way for people to ask "why 34?" and be able to share my faith in a casual way. I am so excited for all the upcoming events and opportunities and experiences and it it so amazing what happens when Christ replaces worry in your life and you trust Him in everything.
I'll be updating more soon and uploading pictures of the salon. Please spread the word and any questions feel free to contact me : 765.376.5384
God is good, all the time.
Here's a video on Alanna Story, the band that will be at Beautiful You. I have seen them live and they are SO AMAZING:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMTWzMgNzUw
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
It Is Well.
"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." - Proverbs 16:9
"But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil." - Proverbs 1:33
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make your path straight." - Proverbs 3:5
"For this is God, or God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death." - Psalm 48:14
"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass....Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him." - Psalm 37:4,7
Verses like these have been flooding my mind for the past few days. I had an amazing weekend with Katie and Chris and Becks and Austin and other wonderful friends and it made me truly realize that my time here in Georgia is coming to an end. I'll be leaving this wonderful and WARM state in 4 days and it's still been surreal until this weekend and today. I got up this morning and drove to Atlanta for a Fusion Extension class taught by an instructor from my school and we talked about how this service would work into my salon plans. And then tomorrow: Tuesday, March 1, 2001 at 3:30pm I will officially be a cosmetology school graduate from Paul Mitchell the School - Atlanta. Funny to look back the the first blog entry I wrote in July and was still living in Indiana and excited to start my life here in GA..and now it's time for me to go back to Indiana..something I never thought I would want to do but know that it is where I'm supposed to be.
My parents have been working closely with Morgan Servies who I will be renting my shop from and working with and they have gotten SO much work done on my room. I literally have THE BEST parents in the world and I am so thankful for their continued support and unconditional love. I have pictures of my salon so far I'll put up at the end of this blog and I am so excited to be going back stress-free to my room almost completely finished. What a huge blessing! It's all coming together so well and all I have left after tomorrow is state boards. I never thought this day would come!!! For all of you that know how much of a procrastonater I am..you know that this is HUGE for me!
Another thing that God has just put on my heart lately is how perfect and wonderful His timing is. I know I've talked about that recently, but it's proving more and more true everyday. I just love the moments in life when you can identify a time or place in the future where things were so unclear and now see exactly why it happened. I live for the moments that I can't explain other than "they were/are a God thing." I feel so sad for the people who don't get to experience God's love and grace on a day to day basis and it's really been motivating me to be more outspoken and bold about my faith. I spent the night with a dear friend from school last week and we were laying in bed talking about life and the subject of God and Christianity got brought up and it really felt good to be able to answer some of her questions and be able to share what an impact Christ has had on my life and how a life lived for God is so much for beneficial than one lived for self. I haven't even experienced TRUE tragedy in my lifetime yet and I still don't know how I would've made it throught certain trials and experiences without Christ. And even when we do rely on God for comfort, strength, peace, etc. it's still very hard sometimes to feel those things, especially right away, so I really can't imagine a life of depending on other humans and being uncertain of your future. It kills me when people say that they "just don't worry about the future or what happens when you die," or that, "everyone goes to Heaven if you're a good person because I don't believe in hell." And I get it, I do, what person who hasn't been raised in a Christian home would want to, at 20+ years old, open a book that says Jesus walked on water, and that blind men were instantly healed, and that the whole earth flooded and that Jonah survived in the belly of a whale and truly be able to be like "yes, even though that's not happening to today's world now, sure I believe it" without hesitation. It sometimes just seems like it wouldn't add up. Had I not had child-like faith being raised in church I'm sure it would all seem far-fetched to me too, but I just wish that everyone could get and feel just a GLIMPSE of what a life lived with Jesus in your heart is like. The abundance and peace that comes with it. I guess it's just something I have to show through my life, and it's so good to be so motivated at such a transition in my life; being able to move back home and start fresh not only in my earthy life, but in my spiritual life and witness as well. Such a good feeling.
I am so excited for the new and crazy-fast changes in my life lately. I know that I am never out of the care of God and that He has an amazing plan for my life. It's so exciting to think of all the possibilities of my future and that it's all happening so soon. "Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul!"
"But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil." - Proverbs 1:33
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make your path straight." - Proverbs 3:5
"For this is God, or God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death." - Psalm 48:14
"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass....Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him." - Psalm 37:4,7
Verses like these have been flooding my mind for the past few days. I had an amazing weekend with Katie and Chris and Becks and Austin and other wonderful friends and it made me truly realize that my time here in Georgia is coming to an end. I'll be leaving this wonderful and WARM state in 4 days and it's still been surreal until this weekend and today. I got up this morning and drove to Atlanta for a Fusion Extension class taught by an instructor from my school and we talked about how this service would work into my salon plans. And then tomorrow: Tuesday, March 1, 2001 at 3:30pm I will officially be a cosmetology school graduate from Paul Mitchell the School - Atlanta. Funny to look back the the first blog entry I wrote in July and was still living in Indiana and excited to start my life here in GA..and now it's time for me to go back to Indiana..something I never thought I would want to do but know that it is where I'm supposed to be.
My parents have been working closely with Morgan Servies who I will be renting my shop from and working with and they have gotten SO much work done on my room. I literally have THE BEST parents in the world and I am so thankful for their continued support and unconditional love. I have pictures of my salon so far I'll put up at the end of this blog and I am so excited to be going back stress-free to my room almost completely finished. What a huge blessing! It's all coming together so well and all I have left after tomorrow is state boards. I never thought this day would come!!! For all of you that know how much of a procrastonater I am..you know that this is HUGE for me!
Another thing that God has just put on my heart lately is how perfect and wonderful His timing is. I know I've talked about that recently, but it's proving more and more true everyday. I just love the moments in life when you can identify a time or place in the future where things were so unclear and now see exactly why it happened. I live for the moments that I can't explain other than "they were/are a God thing." I feel so sad for the people who don't get to experience God's love and grace on a day to day basis and it's really been motivating me to be more outspoken and bold about my faith. I spent the night with a dear friend from school last week and we were laying in bed talking about life and the subject of God and Christianity got brought up and it really felt good to be able to answer some of her questions and be able to share what an impact Christ has had on my life and how a life lived for God is so much for beneficial than one lived for self. I haven't even experienced TRUE tragedy in my lifetime yet and I still don't know how I would've made it throught certain trials and experiences without Christ. And even when we do rely on God for comfort, strength, peace, etc. it's still very hard sometimes to feel those things, especially right away, so I really can't imagine a life of depending on other humans and being uncertain of your future. It kills me when people say that they "just don't worry about the future or what happens when you die," or that, "everyone goes to Heaven if you're a good person because I don't believe in hell." And I get it, I do, what person who hasn't been raised in a Christian home would want to, at 20+ years old, open a book that says Jesus walked on water, and that blind men were instantly healed, and that the whole earth flooded and that Jonah survived in the belly of a whale and truly be able to be like "yes, even though that's not happening to today's world now, sure I believe it" without hesitation. It sometimes just seems like it wouldn't add up. Had I not had child-like faith being raised in church I'm sure it would all seem far-fetched to me too, but I just wish that everyone could get and feel just a GLIMPSE of what a life lived with Jesus in your heart is like. The abundance and peace that comes with it. I guess it's just something I have to show through my life, and it's so good to be so motivated at such a transition in my life; being able to move back home and start fresh not only in my earthy life, but in my spiritual life and witness as well. Such a good feeling.
I am so excited for the new and crazy-fast changes in my life lately. I know that I am never out of the care of God and that He has an amazing plan for my life. It's so exciting to think of all the possibilities of my future and that it's all happening so soon. "Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul!"
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Reflections.
Well, I'm down to my last week here in Georgia. I clearly remember sitting in Katie's bed blogging about how I "only" had 4 weeks of school left and couldn't believe it was ending so soon....imagine how I feel now. Literally 3 school days left and I'm done with my education aside from classes in my future to keep current. I don't think it's REALLY hit me yet, but I'm starting to realize that the people I've seen everyday for 7 months won't be by my side..the teachers who have made me fall in love with hair won't be there to answer my questions, and I won't have 75 degree weather in February EVER back in Indiana. I won't be able to come home to sweet little Beckham, see Katie or Austin whenever I want, and just be completely independent...but I've never been so ready to go home. Ready to see my family all the time..spend late nights with momma and laugh with daddy, have countless girls nights, spend time with Lukie and start my career. Not too stoked about the weather but it's exciting nonetheless. I seriously never thought I would want to move BACK to Crawfordsville. Gosh, it all just blows my mind to think about. Even crazier to think of all the people I want to see that I haven't been able to see when I was home on vacation for almost 8 months. I guess I'm just ready to go back to my roots.
I look back at all the directions my life could've gone. Where would I be had I joined a sorority and stayed a Criminology major at ISU? Had I stayed in Avon and tried to finish cosmo at Regency? It's unbelieveable to look back and realize everything, good and bad, that has happened in the 3 years since I've been out of high school has gotten me here. Gotten me to Georgia and now heading back home. How if anyone would've asked me a year ago where I would be in February 2011, the last thing I would've said is finishing my education at Paul Mitchell the school Atlanta. What a journey it's been and it's amazing to look back and thank God for each step of the way.
I think the thing I am most thankful for recently is how much I have grown in my walk with Christ. How I have learned to effortlessly allow the peace of God to come into my life. How I know who I am and how I want to be. How I crave church and scripture and how thankful I am for everything in my life. How I am able to look back on the trials of my life, expecially the ones I've had here in Georgia and almost chuckle at why they stressed me out so badly. How I've learned to have confidence in my Savior's plan and will for my life. How I've not let little things get me down like they used to. How I need to be soo grateful every single day for Jesus's sacrifice for us. How just when I think I know what and who's right for my life, God changes that, and I'm okay with it. And how MUCH He loves me despite my sinful-natured heart.
I couldn't have asked for a more amazing 7 months here. I wouldn't have changed a thing. Not in the first week and not in this past week. It's all got me where I need to be. I really should start packing though..procrastionation really should be my middle name. Tuesday graduation and then daddy, momma, and Makinze are coming next Friday to pick me up and I absolutely can't wait. I would give ANYTHING for Brennan to be able to be here but I know things are getting better and better for him day by day. I pass a Marines billboard everyday on my way to school and it's such a sweet reminder of how thankful I am for his willingness to serve. It takes a really special person to complete the training he's doing and fight for our freedoms and you better believe there's no prouder big sister out there. So say a little prayer for him as he's mentally and physically WORN OUT by now. I just LOVE him so much and can't wait until May 15 to give him the biggest hug of his life. I miss him so badly it hurts. Semper Fi! "Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle." - Psalm 144:1
Off to finish American Idol and pack my lunch for school tomorrow..one of my last days!! Yikes! So many exciting things going on in my future..moving home, spring break cruise, Lil Wayne concert, my business..the list goes on and on. Thank you JESUS for all the blessings you've given me and my family. "For we live by faith, not by sight." - 2 Corinthians 5:7
"Look back and thank God. Look forward and trust God. Look around and serve God. Look within and find God. He closes doors no man can open and opens doors no man can close."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=memsP8-k5Ew
I look back at all the directions my life could've gone. Where would I be had I joined a sorority and stayed a Criminology major at ISU? Had I stayed in Avon and tried to finish cosmo at Regency? It's unbelieveable to look back and realize everything, good and bad, that has happened in the 3 years since I've been out of high school has gotten me here. Gotten me to Georgia and now heading back home. How if anyone would've asked me a year ago where I would be in February 2011, the last thing I would've said is finishing my education at Paul Mitchell the school Atlanta. What a journey it's been and it's amazing to look back and thank God for each step of the way.
I think the thing I am most thankful for recently is how much I have grown in my walk with Christ. How I have learned to effortlessly allow the peace of God to come into my life. How I know who I am and how I want to be. How I crave church and scripture and how thankful I am for everything in my life. How I am able to look back on the trials of my life, expecially the ones I've had here in Georgia and almost chuckle at why they stressed me out so badly. How I've learned to have confidence in my Savior's plan and will for my life. How I've not let little things get me down like they used to. How I need to be soo grateful every single day for Jesus's sacrifice for us. How just when I think I know what and who's right for my life, God changes that, and I'm okay with it. And how MUCH He loves me despite my sinful-natured heart.
I couldn't have asked for a more amazing 7 months here. I wouldn't have changed a thing. Not in the first week and not in this past week. It's all got me where I need to be. I really should start packing though..procrastionation really should be my middle name. Tuesday graduation and then daddy, momma, and Makinze are coming next Friday to pick me up and I absolutely can't wait. I would give ANYTHING for Brennan to be able to be here but I know things are getting better and better for him day by day. I pass a Marines billboard everyday on my way to school and it's such a sweet reminder of how thankful I am for his willingness to serve. It takes a really special person to complete the training he's doing and fight for our freedoms and you better believe there's no prouder big sister out there. So say a little prayer for him as he's mentally and physically WORN OUT by now. I just LOVE him so much and can't wait until May 15 to give him the biggest hug of his life. I miss him so badly it hurts. Semper Fi! "Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle." - Psalm 144:1
Off to finish American Idol and pack my lunch for school tomorrow..one of my last days!! Yikes! So many exciting things going on in my future..moving home, spring break cruise, Lil Wayne concert, my business..the list goes on and on. Thank you JESUS for all the blessings you've given me and my family. "For we live by faith, not by sight." - 2 Corinthians 5:7
"Look back and thank God. Look forward and trust God. Look around and serve God. Look within and find God. He closes doors no man can open and opens doors no man can close."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=memsP8-k5Ew
Monday, February 21, 2011
Update.
I am beginning to wonder why I've ever even once in my lifetime doubted God's timing and plan. Ever wondered why things happened they way they did and ever worried that things wouldn't fall into place. When in reality, I should've known all along that I do not know what's best for myself although I'd like to think I do sometimes. It's funny to me when even in a week's time I can look back and already realize why things happened the way they did. Be so assured that everything is going to be fine, and be so at peace with major changes. This weekend has opened my eyes to this and I couldn't be more thankful. God brings just the right people in and out and back in and back out of your life all for a reason. The "worst" choice I made recently turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I will never stop being in awe of my God and what He is up to and that's what I like about this whole Christian thing..it never lets me down..
Things are going great..starting tomorrow morning will be my last full week of school at Paul Mitchell Atlanta and it is so bittersweet! My parents and my wonderful friend Makinze are coming in like 12 days to help me finish packin up and move back home and then beginning of April I'll be cruising the caribbean. My shop will open as soon as I take state boards, and I'll get to share it all with my best friends and family. Although Brennan won't be home til May, I feel like he's still here with us and we'll definitely be keeping him updated through letters. We got his address today and I am so excited to be able to keep him mentally and spiritually encouraged - I know he needs it right now. I've been car shopping online too; bouncing ideas around with my dad and that's something to be looking forward to as well. I've been looking at a Dodge Nitro and a Jeep Patriot..I always knew I was more of an SUV girl. Things really are just starting to get really good and to God alone be the glory. My somewhat recent commitment to go to Christ in prayer whenever I am faced with anything, negative OR positive, is already changing my life so much. I am realizing lately how even the little things can make my day so much better..taking 2 minutes to just sit in the sunshine outside and just lay around with Katie and Beckham and really enjoy my last days here in Georgia. Thinking back on the amazing summer I had with my family, and although taking that time off of school maybe wasn't the BEST idea in the world, I have memories I'll never ever forget that outweigh any education I could've gotten at that point in my life. Taking the time to really be thankful and savor every moment with the people at school that I'll no longer see everyday here in about 2 weeks. Just be thankful for day to day life and not wish any of it away.
Another encouraging devotion just came via text from momma. Be inspired:
"Learn to live from your true center in Me. I reside in the deepest depths of your being, in eternal union with your spirit. It is at this deep level that My Peace reigns continually. You will not find lasting peace in the world around you, in circumstances, OR IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS. The external world is always in flux - under the curse of death and decay. But there is a gold mine of Peace deep within you, waiting to be tapped. Take time to dive into the riches of My Residing Presence. I want you to live increasingly from your real center, where My love has an eternal grip on you. I am Christ in you, the hope of Glory."
- "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15
Lots of exciting things going on right now. Mostly just excited about how God is using my life. I really feel like getting back home and getting plugged back into church is going to wonderful. I always used to hear that something like 80% of people who were raised going to church every Sunday while they lived with their parents would stop going after they moved out and I never thought I would be one of those people until I've looked back recently at how busy life has gotten and how uncomfortable it can be to go church shopping or get up on your one day to sleep in. Shame on me. I know that you don't really HAVE to be in church to still be in tune with Christ but I know that it is spiritual food and something that I have been lacking and I can really tell. I can't wait for weekly encouragment and guidance once again as I move home and make it a habit in my life again. It's something that is so important to me and I can't believe I've gone this long without a church family.
I encourage anyone who is reading this..if anyone at all..to stop right now and pray. Pray for your week, pray for those you know need salvation. Pray for struggles and things you're insanely happy about. Pray for your families and friends and work and financial trouble. Pray for worries and even your enemies. It will do wonders for your day. I'll be praying for each of you too, for this week and for your roles in my life, no matter what they are. You are loved so so much by a God who is bigger than your biggest problem or fear. Rest easy because the Shephard never sleeps..
Things are going great..starting tomorrow morning will be my last full week of school at Paul Mitchell Atlanta and it is so bittersweet! My parents and my wonderful friend Makinze are coming in like 12 days to help me finish packin up and move back home and then beginning of April I'll be cruising the caribbean. My shop will open as soon as I take state boards, and I'll get to share it all with my best friends and family. Although Brennan won't be home til May, I feel like he's still here with us and we'll definitely be keeping him updated through letters. We got his address today and I am so excited to be able to keep him mentally and spiritually encouraged - I know he needs it right now. I've been car shopping online too; bouncing ideas around with my dad and that's something to be looking forward to as well. I've been looking at a Dodge Nitro and a Jeep Patriot..I always knew I was more of an SUV girl. Things really are just starting to get really good and to God alone be the glory. My somewhat recent commitment to go to Christ in prayer whenever I am faced with anything, negative OR positive, is already changing my life so much. I am realizing lately how even the little things can make my day so much better..taking 2 minutes to just sit in the sunshine outside and just lay around with Katie and Beckham and really enjoy my last days here in Georgia. Thinking back on the amazing summer I had with my family, and although taking that time off of school maybe wasn't the BEST idea in the world, I have memories I'll never ever forget that outweigh any education I could've gotten at that point in my life. Taking the time to really be thankful and savor every moment with the people at school that I'll no longer see everyday here in about 2 weeks. Just be thankful for day to day life and not wish any of it away.
Another encouraging devotion just came via text from momma. Be inspired:
"Learn to live from your true center in Me. I reside in the deepest depths of your being, in eternal union with your spirit. It is at this deep level that My Peace reigns continually. You will not find lasting peace in the world around you, in circumstances, OR IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS. The external world is always in flux - under the curse of death and decay. But there is a gold mine of Peace deep within you, waiting to be tapped. Take time to dive into the riches of My Residing Presence. I want you to live increasingly from your real center, where My love has an eternal grip on you. I am Christ in you, the hope of Glory."
- "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15
Lots of exciting things going on right now. Mostly just excited about how God is using my life. I really feel like getting back home and getting plugged back into church is going to wonderful. I always used to hear that something like 80% of people who were raised going to church every Sunday while they lived with their parents would stop going after they moved out and I never thought I would be one of those people until I've looked back recently at how busy life has gotten and how uncomfortable it can be to go church shopping or get up on your one day to sleep in. Shame on me. I know that you don't really HAVE to be in church to still be in tune with Christ but I know that it is spiritual food and something that I have been lacking and I can really tell. I can't wait for weekly encouragment and guidance once again as I move home and make it a habit in my life again. It's something that is so important to me and I can't believe I've gone this long without a church family.
I encourage anyone who is reading this..if anyone at all..to stop right now and pray. Pray for your week, pray for those you know need salvation. Pray for struggles and things you're insanely happy about. Pray for your families and friends and work and financial trouble. Pray for worries and even your enemies. It will do wonders for your day. I'll be praying for each of you too, for this week and for your roles in my life, no matter what they are. You are loved so so much by a God who is bigger than your biggest problem or fear. Rest easy because the Shephard never sleeps..
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thankful.
"When I am dealing with an all-powerful, all-knowing God, I, as mere mortal, must offer not only with persistence, but also with patience. Someday I'll know why."
-Ruth Bell Graham
It's hilarious to me how serious I take the trials of this world. How I look back to the problems and pain I had even just months ago and shake my head at how silly it all seems now. There have been times recently when I was so shocked and hurt that I could barely breathe..barely stay attentive enough for a conversatoin..barely sleep enough to get through the next day. BUT we are called to give thanks and praise in afflictions and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. My momma always taught me to give my day to God every morning so that it will completely change my entire day..and it always does..so I have been keeping that mindset lately and anytime I have been down or sad or hurting even the slightest bit I say a quick prayer for restoration and peace and it's unreal how fast I feel those things. I worry too much. I get that from my mom too and it's something that I really need to work on because worrying really is a sin.
"To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way." - C.S. Lewis
I've always been one to give advice to my friends and family..been easy to talk to I feel like and I'm always the first to point to Christ. "Lean on Him for understanding," and "God will get you through, He always does." But who am I to give that when I am not going to that same advice first? It just comes down to being able to fully rely on the fact that God has me right where He wants me and that my timing is not always His timing. I really am doing so much better than I thought I would be though. Everyone knows how emotional and sensitive I can be (not always a GREAT things but I like to look at is as a quirk, ha) and so for me to be handling all the stress and confusion life has thrown at me lately like I am is crazy. It's always those first few days; intial shock and then you start to heal but being a who I am AND a girl it takes me much longer..and for some reason God has just had my heart in His hands this week and I am so super thankful. I know, I know..I need to start practicing what I'm preaching and just stop talking about it all but it's just what the majority of my prayers and thoughts have been about this week and so when I get it out I really GET IT OUT and I can let go. Which is exactly what I'm doing. I will never be able to fathom the perfectness of Christ but I am so glad I have seen huge glimpses these past few weeks.
On a lighter note, graduation is rapidly approaching! I have tomorrow and then 5 days next week and I am officially done with cosmetology school! I will have state boards to take when I get back to Indiana after 4-6 weeks being done with my 1500 hours and work and I could not be more happy. Like I said a few days ago, although I'm going to miss the people and school SO much, there were several days in the past 2 years when I never ever thought it would come to an end but I am finally here and it feels so good. So good to have accomplished something and so good to have a PLAN. I can't wait to start working and making people feel beautiful. Have my own place and hours and Morgan to work with and be in my hometown and be able to see my friends and family whenever I want and just start my new life all over again. So for now I'm just gettin those hours at school and starting to pack up my stuff! For every door that closes, another opens..even if it is back in Crawfordsville, Indiana.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the wasteland." - Isaiah 43:18-19
Oh and just a little funny something that's helped get me through this week:
Thursday, February 17, 2011
For The Girls.
This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times.
This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and the guys that they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slighest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive the hope that maybe, maybe this time he'll have understood. This is a homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention.
This is for the girls who have been in the trenches and who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and screw up the guys in their lives without saying a word.
This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the rite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to, "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, and who are seeking to find it.
This is for the girls who have never been in love but know that it's an experience they don't want to miss out on.
This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomitting guy friend or a comatose crush; who have recieved a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed.
This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl he sees in a skirt.
This is for the girls who have been told they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.
This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom but won't because it's easier to sleep with someone than foster a realtionship. This is for the girls who have been led on by words or kisses or touches, all of which were either only true for the moment..or never even real to begin with.
This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.
This is for the girls who have had their heart broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to just be a random hookup.
This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a realationship; it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if only you conforted him right, said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the nights you've realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
This is for the, "I really like you so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends in life, you seldom choose ones that make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've recieved from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and a teddy bear.
This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd ever truly wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think they deserve more because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.
See, this is what I don't understand: men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, they guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives..that girls play mindgames..that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet men I ask you this: were you to meet one of these genuinely interesed, thrilling, compelling, intelligent and beautiful and sweet and caring girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call...and if you were to recieve a phone call from her the next day, and in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straight-forward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intruiging and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material for which she could see you being her boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them about the "stalker chick" you met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told you the truth? And would you or would you not then refuse to make plans with her, see her again because you've built up your ego to your friends..but then once again return to the bar or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not really looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinelly interested in your intramural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; youre looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.
So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover, sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the lowcut shirt or the too-tight miniskirt won't answer your woes, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in suggestive clothing - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning I'll be back in a teeshirt and flannel pants..I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the easy girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl, so don't say you're looking for a relationship because relationships take time and energy and intent: 3 things you're willing to extend but in return we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, 3 things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after easy-targets..the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with a towel and a water bottle and a hug, hoping againt all odds that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting.. however, until that happens, we still have eachother, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat. (Because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate, anyway?)
This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and the guys that they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slighest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive the hope that maybe, maybe this time he'll have understood. This is a homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention.
This is for the girls who have been in the trenches and who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and screw up the guys in their lives without saying a word.
This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the rite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to, "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, and who are seeking to find it.
This is for the girls who have never been in love but know that it's an experience they don't want to miss out on.
This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomitting guy friend or a comatose crush; who have recieved a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed.
This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl he sees in a skirt.
This is for the girls who have been told they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.
This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom but won't because it's easier to sleep with someone than foster a realtionship. This is for the girls who have been led on by words or kisses or touches, all of which were either only true for the moment..or never even real to begin with.
This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.
This is for the girls who have had their heart broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to just be a random hookup.
This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a realationship; it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if only you conforted him right, said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the nights you've realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
This is for the, "I really like you so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends in life, you seldom choose ones that make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've recieved from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and a teddy bear.
This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd ever truly wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think they deserve more because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.
See, this is what I don't understand: men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, they guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives..that girls play mindgames..that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet men I ask you this: were you to meet one of these genuinely interesed, thrilling, compelling, intelligent and beautiful and sweet and caring girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call...and if you were to recieve a phone call from her the next day, and in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straight-forward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intruiging and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material for which she could see you being her boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them about the "stalker chick" you met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told you the truth? And would you or would you not then refuse to make plans with her, see her again because you've built up your ego to your friends..but then once again return to the bar or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not really looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinelly interested in your intramural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; youre looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.
So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover, sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the lowcut shirt or the too-tight miniskirt won't answer your woes, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in suggestive clothing - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning I'll be back in a teeshirt and flannel pants..I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the easy girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl, so don't say you're looking for a relationship because relationships take time and energy and intent: 3 things you're willing to extend but in return we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, 3 things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after easy-targets..the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with a towel and a water bottle and a hug, hoping againt all odds that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting.. however, until that happens, we still have eachother, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat. (Because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate, anyway?)
Revealed.
My mom called to check up on me and remind me just how faithful God is. She's been doing a devotional but was a few days behind but decided to go ahead and catch up anyways and how much these next few exerpts apply to Brennan leaving and all this crap with my relationship is unreal. It's mindblowing how much God has reavealed himself to me since Monday and I feel like God meets you right where you are:
"Come to me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you are you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as opportunity for Me to take charge of your life. Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including THINGS YOU WISH WERE DIFFERENT. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, ACCEPTING that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway. This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. Your desire to live in my presence goes against the grain of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Much of your weariness results from your CONSTANT BATTLE against these opponents. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My presence."
- "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28
- "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 42:11
"I am above all things: your problems, your pain, and the swirling events of this ever-changing world. When you behold My Face, you rise above circumstances and rest with me in heavenly realms. This is the way of Peace, living in the light of My Presence. I guarantee that you will always have problems in this life, but they must not become your focus. When you feel yourself sinking in the sea of circumstances, say, "Help me, Jesus!" and I will draw you back to Me. If you have to say that thousands of times daily, do not be discouraged. I know your weakness and I meet you in that very place."
- "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms of Christ Jesus.." - Ephesians 2:6
- "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind he became afraid, and, beginning to sink cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed back in the boat, the wind died down." - Matthew 14:28-32
"Seek my face more and more. You are really just beginning your journey of intimacy with me. It is not as easy road, but it is a delightful and privileged way: a treasure hunt. I am the treasure and the glory of my presence glistens and shimmers along the way. Hardships are part of the journey too. I map them out ever so carefully, in just the right dosage, with a TENDERNESS YOU CAN HARDLY IMAGINE. Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among My most favored gifts. Trust Me and do not be afraid, for I am your strength and song."
- "My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" and your face, Oh lord, I will seek." - Psalm 27:8
- "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7
- "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense. He has become my salvation." - Isaiah 12:2
..I've been clinging to these all day. Today has not been easy but for every dark night, there's a brighter day after that. So I'm handling it all the best way I know how and somehow, that's good enough, because Christ will always suffice.
"Come to me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you are you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as opportunity for Me to take charge of your life. Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including THINGS YOU WISH WERE DIFFERENT. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, ACCEPTING that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway. This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. Your desire to live in my presence goes against the grain of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Much of your weariness results from your CONSTANT BATTLE against these opponents. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My presence."
- "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28
- "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 42:11
"I am above all things: your problems, your pain, and the swirling events of this ever-changing world. When you behold My Face, you rise above circumstances and rest with me in heavenly realms. This is the way of Peace, living in the light of My Presence. I guarantee that you will always have problems in this life, but they must not become your focus. When you feel yourself sinking in the sea of circumstances, say, "Help me, Jesus!" and I will draw you back to Me. If you have to say that thousands of times daily, do not be discouraged. I know your weakness and I meet you in that very place."
- "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms of Christ Jesus.." - Ephesians 2:6
- "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind he became afraid, and, beginning to sink cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed back in the boat, the wind died down." - Matthew 14:28-32
"Seek my face more and more. You are really just beginning your journey of intimacy with me. It is not as easy road, but it is a delightful and privileged way: a treasure hunt. I am the treasure and the glory of my presence glistens and shimmers along the way. Hardships are part of the journey too. I map them out ever so carefully, in just the right dosage, with a TENDERNESS YOU CAN HARDLY IMAGINE. Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among My most favored gifts. Trust Me and do not be afraid, for I am your strength and song."
- "My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" and your face, Oh lord, I will seek." - Psalm 27:8
- "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7
- "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense. He has become my salvation." - Isaiah 12:2
..I've been clinging to these all day. Today has not been easy but for every dark night, there's a brighter day after that. So I'm handling it all the best way I know how and somehow, that's good enough, because Christ will always suffice.
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